Halloween thoughts.....

I've always loved Halloween. Growing up in England I would be envious of the American way of life as  I observed Halloween via British TV; the gaudy over-the-top decorations, haunted houses, parades and yearn to go trick or treating as I wondered what costume I'd wear.  I lived in rural England, the South East coast, in the County of Kent, known as the 'garden of England.'  It's beautiful because it IS rural. Yet rural also means for a young person, 'boring and old fashioned' and whilst today I fully appreciate its charm, back then, it was boring and no one even knew what Halloween was, not a pumpkin in sight, let alone actually celebrate the season. I never imagined as a young girl I would actually live in the US and finally experience my dream.  When I first came to this great country it was overwhelmingly exciting. I remember as we took off from London Heathrow and the seat belt sign went off I could hardly believe it, I was going to live the American dream! Arriving at our new home I fell in love with all things American; Coffee, flavored creamers, drive ins, huge open plan homes, white picket fences (I even dreamed of those as a young girl), breakfast diners with as much coffee as you want, no queues at the check out, snow at Christmas, Thanksgiving and car parks that are always half empty and the fact I would never have to reverse park again in my life, it was great! I also fell in love with the Mid west people who welcomed us with open arms....and of course, there was Halloween. That first year we went beserk with decorating the house, spent way too much money on lights, spooky sounds and fog machines and invited all our new neighbors to our first Halloween party which was a MONSTER smash! It was magical and I realized I really WAS living the American dream and our children were thriving as they settled into their new life as if it had always been there. We would have our last Halloween party in 2003 before Ollie died in the Spring of 2004 and it was a grand affair as we turned our front yard into the local Halloween 'hot spot' and Ollie joyously giggled as we scared the living daylights out of those passing by as he hit 'play' on the truly scary music he had selected earlier that week at Target.  Like all the holidays that come around, the birthdays, the seasons, the moments, you never want it to end and taking down the decorations was just as painful as taking down the ribbons I had around the trees in our backyard for months after Ollie passed when I just knew that it was time to do so and no one seemed to notice.  It's funny what you get angry about or painfully miss when your child is gone, what you WOULD be doing, but is just taken from you and there is not a damn thing you can do about it.  There are times when you want to scream out about it yet cannot, at least, not in public.  Being the youngest child of mine, Ollie would still be in that childish fascination stage for several more years and there would have been more parades, more costumes, more scaredy-cat moments and shenanigans with his brother and sister. I get jealous of other parents who still have that....then angry at those who get annoyed at their kids just because they want to dress up and the parents can't be bothered.  I miss Halloween. I miss it because like everything else, it will never be the same .... yet I am grateful to this great country and its wonderful traditions and for bringing Halloween to not only me and fulfilling a dream I had yearned for as a child, yet also, for a brief time, to my son Ollie, who LOVED this time of year....Happy Halloween my son, I love you...